Some nights, I stay up cashing in my bad luck

some nights, I call it a draw
Some nights, I wish that my lips could build a castle
Some nights, I wish they'd just fall off

But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights, I don't know anymore...

This is it, boys, this is war - what are we waiting for?
Why don't we break the rules already?
I was never one to believe the hype - save that for the black and white
I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked,
but here they come again to jack my style

And that's alright; I found a martyr in my bed tonight
She stops my bones from wondering just who I am, who I am, who I am
Oh, who am I? Oh, who am I?

Some nights, I wish that this all would end
Cause I could use some friends for a change
And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again
Some nights, I always win
But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights, I don't know...

So this is it? I sold my soul for this?
Washed my hands of that for this?
I miss my mom and dad for this?

No. When I see stars, when I see stars, that's all they are
When I hear songs, they sound like a swan, so come on
Oh, come on. Oh, come on.

That is it, guys, that is all - five minutes in and I'm bored again
Ten years of this, I'm not sure if anybody understands
This is not one for the folks back home; I'm sorry to leave, mom,
I had to go
Who the fuck wants to die alone all dried up in the desert sun?

My heart is breaking for my sister and the con that she called "love"
But when I look into my nephew's eyes...
Man, you wouldn't believe the most amazing things that can come from...
Some terrible nights.

The other night, you wouldn't believe the dream
I just had about you and me
I called you up, but we'd both agree
It's for the best you didn't listen
It's for the best we get our distance...

Thank you for this Corrie xx

"Hey Nemie,

We haven't really talked much since I got home so i just wanted to say hi and see how you are doing. :) 

I'm sitting in the library at uni right now trying to focus on studying but i just can't.  You haven't really left my mind at all this week.  I should really be studying instead of writing this e-mail.  Maybe once this is sent I can actually start studying properly... 

I get the feeling that what you once liked about me or thought you liked about me has gone and that's cool.  We aren't exactly in the best situation for whatever it is we were expecting, our worlds are so far apart and our lives are so different.  I'm sorry if I didn't live up to your expectations or if things didn't go exactly to plan.  It was great to see you though and I had an awesome time with you.  I enjoyed getting an insight into your life, meeting your friends, seeing where you grew up and where you work.  Stockholm is a fantastic city so thanks for giving me the opportunity to visit and for showing me around.

You seem to have a good idea of what you want to get out of life and I truly wish you achieve and surpass all your hopes and dreams.  I think you will go far in life and do something really great!  

You made me incredibly happy, more happy than I've felt in a long time,  and for that i just want to say thanks :)  I didn't stop smiling for the whole of April Nemie!  I felt like a little kid after that night I met you in London. It was great!  

The offers still there if you ever want to come and visit Scotland. I'd love to show you around :)  You owe me a 'couple' of drinks and we still need to get tattoos so I better see you again :P

I'm going off to Shetland next Saturday to work and then I'm off to Tenerife at the end of June for a week. After that I'll hopefully be back in Glasgow for the rest of the summer.  If you end up coming over to Britain it would be great to see you!  I attached a picture I took of us on the train in Stockholm.  I don't know if you want it but i think it's a great picture of you :)  

I would love to keep in touch with you, and I'd love to stay friends. If you ever need anyone to talk to about anything or just fancy a chat I'm here for you. 
Hopefully our paths cross again. I remember you said "it's not goodbye it's see you later", I hope you were right.
Don't become a stranger! 

Puss Puss

No regrets
Corrie x"

I am more excited than I've been in a long time. I can't stop smiling! I want to jump up and down and sing songs about God know what. I want and need to express what I'm feeling but I can't. This is crazy. How did this happen? How come I meet this cute, funny boy on my last fucking day in London? It's not fair. He makes me smile, really smile. This was not supposed to happen. I was supposed to just be me for a while. Done with with men, just be me. Although he's awfully cute. And he makes me smile like a fool.

I'm counting the days till you get here, bejb. You have no idea how excited I am.

This is insane.. ^^

I destroy homes, I tear families apart,

Take your children and that's just the start.

I’m more costly than diamonds, more precious than gold,

The sorrows I bring is a sight to behold.

If you need me, remember, I’m easily found

I’m all around you in schools and in town.

I live with the rich, I live with the poor,

I live down the street and maybe even next door.

I’m made in a lab but not how you think,

I can be made under the kitchen sink.

In your child's closet and even in the woods.

If this scare you to death, well it certainly should.

I have many names but one you’d know best

I'm sure you've heard of me, my name is Crystal meth.

My power is awesome; try me you'll see,

But if you do you may never break free.

Just try me once and I might let you go,

But try me twice and I'll own your soul.

When I possess you, you’ll steal and you’ll lie,

You’ll do what it takes just to get high.

The crimes you’ll commit for the high and fame

Will be worth millions once I get in your veins.

You’ll lie to your mom and steal from you dad,

When you see their tears you should feel sad.

But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised,

I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.

I’ll take your friends, your control, your pride,

But I’ll always be with you right by your side.

You’ll give up everything, your family, your home,

your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.

I’ll take and I’ll take till you have nothing more to give,

When I'm finished with you, you’ll be lucky to live.

If you try me be warned, this is no game,

Given the chance I’ll drive you insane.

I'll ravish your body, I'll control your mind,

I'll own you completely, your soul will be mine.

The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed,

The voices you'll hear from inside your head.

The sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see,

I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.

Then it's too late and you'll know in you heart,

That you're mine and we shall not part.

You'll regret that you tried me, they always do,

But you came to me not I to you.

You knew this would happen, many times you were told,

but you challenged my power and chose to be bold.

You could have said no and just walked away,

If you could live that day over, now what would you say?

I'll be your master, you'll be my slave,

I'll even go with you when you go to your grave.

Now that you have me, what will you do?

Will you try me or not? It's all up to you.

I can bring more misery than words can tell,

Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.

Written by Alicia VanDavi

Biljard med jobbet

Foto: Mohamed

16 grader på balkongen. Danny - Amazing.
Sitter vid köksfönstret och söker jobb i London. Lönen kommer in vid midnatt och då bokas biljetten för nästa tisdag. Skickade över mitt CV till Mia tidigare också. Nu är det dags. Ta ett kliv, hoppa och hoppas på att landa på båda fötterna. Vad har framtiden i beredskap åt mig?
För första gången i mitt liv har jag ingen plan. Det känns konstigt, ovant, men spännande. Otroligt spännande och jag kan inte låta bli att le.

Det är som ett stort lugn lagts sig över mig. Känns hela tiden som att jag ska bryta ihop och sakna D men det händer inte. Jag ler.. it's weird, väldigt konstigt men sånt är livet.
Kan dock inte sova ordentligt. Vaknar varannan timme men det lär väl gå över det med. Tog mig 4år att komma över den förra. Hur lång tid ska det här ta?

Nej, Fuck it! Solen skiner och jag har en grill/vin dejt med Evve (grannen)

Gott go, ppl :)

Jag är förvirrad. Jag börjar glömma varför det inte fungerade, jag saknar honom mer och mer. Jag vet inte hur jag ska göra för att gå vidare. Kan inte glömma Alla Hjärtans Dag. Vi hade det så bra, otroligt bra, någonting jag aldrig upplevt förut.
Herregud, när ska allt ta slut? När ska man bli lycklig? Hitta den där mannen som gör allt värt det. Som sveper dig av dina fötter och får ditt hjärta att le. Hitta en man, inte en pojke. Dock kanske 22 års ålderskillnad var att ta i lite.
Jag behöver en man som ser mig för den jag är. Som accepterar, respekterar och älskar mig för alla mina små fel och brister.
Jag vill hitta en man att erövra världen med.

Tills denna man hittar mig eller jag honom så blir jag nunna.
För fan för one night stands. Äcklad av bara tanken. Har så svårt att se att det var sådan jag var en gång i tiden, för inte så länge sedan heller, som varje festnatt letade efter någon att dela min säng med och som oftast också hjittade denna någon. För fan. För fan om jag någonsin blir sådan igen.

Jag undrar vad det var som förändrade mig så. Vad det var som fick mig att växa så, om det var en dag eller en händelse, vad det än var så förändrade det mig totalt. Jag är långt ifrån samma person som jag var för ett år sedan. Det känns otroligt skönt. Otroligt därför att jag egentligen aldrig trodde att jag var kapabel till en sådan förändring. Skönt därför att jag trivs så mycket bättre med den person jag är idag.






I miss you, D.
I'm sorry it didnt work out. No regrets.

Snart är jobbet över och relationen som måste varit den mest intensiva jag någonsin upplevt tog slut ikväll. Börjar verkligen tro att universum säger åt mig att åka. Thailand? I Think I'm on my way.

Aaaaaah!!
Snart orkar jag fan inte med det här längre!

Den här dagen går inte som jag föreställde mig

Dag 211

Valentine's day

I know I told you I love surprises by right now you're driving me crazy! Can't wait to see what you have planed; flowers, candlelit dinner, a hotelbed filled with roses, chocolate... Aaaah going nuts haha
Can't wait! ^^

So so nervous. You meen so much to me...

Var ett tag sedan.. :P

Så nu är man iaf på väg hem till D men tubhelvetet är självklart sen eller vad fan det nu är frågan om för här ska man tydligen stå i Gullmars i ytterligare 15min. Skojj.
Miss my Bejbi!

Älskar min nya lur, btw. Den äger :D
Sony Ericsson Xperia Arc S, Whoop Whoop!!!!!

Så passande just nu..


Bara för att 'soundet' är så otroligt fantastiskt